There is something to be said to maintain a sense of wonder and a need to discover new things and – dare I say? – new men and their special wicked ways. I guess you have been at that point where you need to find out if what you perceive as daily drab proceedings could be turned into something more exciting, right? You may be on the right path.
Whatever your brain is telling you, there are always other ways to try, and while there is something to be said about being happy with the status quo, we are all explorers at heart and like the thrill of the new and unexpected. Let’s assume you have a partner who is open to experiments, there are many options to try and most of them come in the form of workshops rather than chance encounters in a darkroom, bar or on the dance floor. Let’s consider things like kink parties, for example: at first sight, those might be suitable for the advanced students only, but don’t be mistaken, most of them are fairly organised affairs with a high level of supervision and security, providing a safe place to start exploring the things you come across. It’s also very likely you’ll find someone to show you the ropes (literally!) or introduce you to pleasure created by light flogging or keeping you out of your comfort zone in other ways. If you have a partner in crime – be it a life partner or a friend you trust completely – you may even play with being blindfolded while he guides you through a bar you are otherwise familiar with. That could go as far as allowing him to guide others to touch you in certain ways or going even further than that. Ultimately, all those things are based on trust and a sense of feeling safe. That feeling can be based on having a friend making sure nothing happens to you that you have not stated as ‘this is okay’ to your friend ahead of time (they will have to supervise closely, of course). Your safety is usually in good hands in specific clubs for particular kinks as they allow for clear rules. Safety can also be created on the basis of trust and clear discussions before playing with someone. All those steps demand clear boundaries that are discussed ahead of time – or during – and an obvious way to stop proceedings with the understanding that a STOP is final and has to be obeyed by both parties.
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About me
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
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