Let’s say you are out and about, walking through a crowded place like a shopping centre or sitting in a train station, and you become aware of someone who is in distress. That could be quiet – yet inconsolable – of the guy walking next to you, or erratic behaviour of someone who isn’t quite herself. Let’s for a moment assume they are not under the influence of something, to simplify matters a little. Would you approach them and ask if they are okay? It’s unlikely, right? But why? Isn’t it a basic human trait that we thrive in groups for one important reason: mutual support? I know, there are more reasons that that, but I believe this is a crucial one. There is one main reason why we do not proceed and make a connection: fear! Fear of rejection, anger or apprehension that person might express. But how likely is it they are actually going to blow up if you approach them? They may only need a bit of human connection to calm down, or you learn just enough to ask for help from someone more appropriate. They simply may not be in a position to ask for help because of the state they are in. The main thing is: you have to put yourself out there and offer your help. It’s up to them to accept or refuse. What if YOU were in that position? Wouldn’t you have liked to be asked? Would you have refused a helping hand when you most needed it? This is all about your own process, not the person in need! And while your fears may be there for a reason, wouldn’t it be nice to be there for that other person, or at least give it a try? A lot of this is about distance and proximity. If you have a hard time being close to your friends, it is even harder to approach a colleague at work or a perfect stranger. If you open your senses to those around you, you’ll likely find that many of them would welcome a helping hand, a kind word or a simple question like “can I help you?” Maybe it’s a good thing to start this process by reaching out to those in need. Who knows then you’d appreciate someone else to do the same? when you touch someone, proximity turns into connection
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About me
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
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