I have talked about consent, the idea of finding your yesses and nos, and generally how to look out for your mental and physical health. The trouble is, though, that even if you find your limits and respect them, there is something to be said for growth, and growth always involves stepping over boundaries and experiencing something new. Is this a contradiction in terms? At first sight it is: how can you respect your boundaries, yet overstep them at the same time? There is something to be said for being careful with maintaining your boundaries, and in most cases this is absolutely true. However, if you want to make sure you don’t get stuck in a ‘same old same old’ situation, you’ll have to take some (calculated) risks on occasion. It is important to keep in mind that risks are NOT your enemy in terms of your limitations. Taking risks and stretching yourself is part of spiritual growth. The challenge is to find ways to explore new things in a safe container, and thereby expanding your safe zone towards the new thing you want to experience or find yourself attracted to. For example, if you are curious about bondage, you may want to explore this with someone you know and trust, who has experience in the matter, and who understands where you usually draw the lines. Not only will this put you at ease, but it will feel a lot better to you. It is not a good idea to simply walk into a BDSM dungeon where several dozen strangers are playing out their consensual fantasies, but who do not know you. You can see, there is a bit of sense to what you might classify as your personal ‘insanity’. Be told that there are other people out there who have experience in new aspects of human sensuality. And many of them are willing to share those skills with you. accept boundaries, but don’t get stuck on them
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About me
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
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