When you think of ‘being active’ in the context of tantra you probably consider things like being a top or physical exhaustion during and after sex, or at the very least being the one calling the shots or doing things to the other person who is on the receiving side. And yes: to some degree that is certainly true. On a different level, being active makes you the caretaker of your partner. Think about it: he is totally in your hands, and if he trusts you completely, you may just be able to send him not just over the edge but into places his mind never dreamed of going. It all depends on your connection with your partner and your ability to see what is needed, and then provide it. It may feel counterintuitive, but seemingly the roles are reversed: the active partner is subservient to the passive one who is asking for things to be done in certain ways for his own pleasure, arousal, energy flow. How does that work? Of course you have touched someone else and you’ll have some knowledge when it comes to the places to touch and the ways to touch that feel good and are received with moans, movements, maybe even pleas to continue or stop. And there it is: there are messages coming your way that help you figure out what to do next, some clearer, some more obscure. The better you know your partner, the easier it is to pick up the smallest cues and help him move just a little further towards the place of bliss. What is that place of bliss? It depends on the person and circumstances: for some it’s an orgasm – be it physical or internal only – for others it’s a mental journey, or it’s a state of absolute joy that can last for minutes. Either way, your touch, compassion, assistance is what makes it happen for your partner. It’s not unknown that waves of bliss roll over both of you, simply because you are so attuned to your partner that you not only pick up the cues he sends, but some of the experience he has reaches you as well. To give just one example: when you touch your partner and he bets aroused, he may get an erection, start making noises or show other signs of pleasure. Don’t you react to this? Have you never had an erection just from the sense of enjoyment that your partner experiences, or shivers down your spine when he writhes and moans? That’s what it means to be active: being the motor that makes things happen, but also getting feedback before and after… it’s a perpetual state of reinforcement that goes both ways. Sharing is caring, especially when it comes to bliss
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About me
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
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