This said, I’m no different myself in that respect: and some may find me attractive while others don’t, on a physical, spiritual, sensual, personal or any other level you may come up with. It’s a good thing we are all different.
It is true that a lot of people stick with the physical appearance and looks play a huge role in deciding if someone is worthwhile getting or staying in touch with. Again, I’m not excluding myself, but I try to be better about this and step over that first assessment to give my encounters a chance at succeeding. That brings me to a related issue: How do I feel about my own body? Would I be attracted to myself? Until a couple of weeks ago the answer would have been a resounding YES, but then I had a bit of a wobble. (Before you wonder: I’m okay now. Considering the bigger picture was immensely helpful.) I had been aware that I had put on a bit of weight but have not really given it much thought. I just imagined that I was a little heavier and looked pretty much the same as I had for the last 30 years or so. But then it happened: I had the opportunity to see myself in video and photos from angles I was not usually privy to seeing myself and what I saw was pretty shocking. I realise that everyone has a bit of a skewed image of themselves that is a little behind the times, but mine was at least 10 kgs behind the times! It was a revelation, and I believe everyone should be able to see themselves in that way… the way others would see you. At first I was wondering what I could do to get back into shape, and worried about my appeal to others. But then I realised that nothing had changed, except my perception of myself. Others have always seen me this way, anyway. And when I started putting things into perspective, I calmed down and considered things a little more realistically. I believe that my encounter with Tantra all those years ago has given me an ability to deal with such perception issues, to take things the way they are rather than the way I want them to be or believe them to be. In the end, the only one who really has to get over this is me: just like myself, others will either be drawn to me or not, they may see the seed of something else inside of me or not. Be this as it may, technically the only difference is in my mind. Acceptance is important, but that does not take away that – for my own happiness – I may just do something about those extra kilos.
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About me
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
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