Let’s say you have met Mr. Right Now, he invites you to his place and things are moving along nicely. Assuming you have been clear about your red lines before things got hot and steamy everything should be pretty much smooth sailing now, right? Well, in theory that would be the case, but things may change during sex, and suddenly things might happen that were not on the menu in the original setup: maybe you find your inner submissive or you discover his collection of drippy candles and decide to experiment. Now what? In the best of cases, the parameters can be changed with very little discussion, but sometimes you may find yourself in a position with limited options already, what then? You could interrupt the scene but there is a danger of never getting back into it. What’s important here is that you don’t have to think about your own motivation too much to take a decision to interrupt. And that can only be achieved if you have thought about your own personal limits long ahead of time! It’s useful to occasionally step back, take stock of your preferences: likes, maybe’s and absolute no’s, and then decide which if these are always yes or no, and take clear decisions about the all the maybe’s on your list. Some of them could turn into a ‘yes’ in certain situations or with certain partners, others may go the other way. The important things here is to play out possible scenarios for each maybe in the heat of the night. By doing this when there is no time pressure, you’ll be ready to make a snap decision when the time comes. Without interrupting the proceedings too long… being prepared has never been a bad thing
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These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
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