Similar things apply in most every walk of life. Explaining to your family why you’d rather spend your free time with your friends than watch TV with your parents needs the arguments and chutzpah to stand up for yourself. But most of all, the conditions need to be right to do whatever you intend to do, and THAT is what that container is all about.
That concept of a container can be seen as wide as you wish, or as narrow as you feel it could be. In the context of interaction with other people, this can be of utmost importance for success or failure, for joy or despair, and any outcome you might wish for.
Having sex in a damp alleyway may be kinky, but it certainly is not the epitome of comfort. If it is comfort you are hoping to get during sex, this particular container is not suitable and you may better find another spot for your hot encounter – or end it right there and then.
You want to spend a romantic evening with your partner? Well, you better bring out the candles and the enticing music, put on that outfit he likes and display all the toys you intend to bring into play on this occasion. On the other hand, you could do nothing, pull him onto the bed and have sex. The latter option lacks all the romantic elements you were hoping for because your container has not been prepared.
Are you starting to see where this is going? The right experience needs proper preparation! But worry not: that preparation could be minimal… as long as you give it a bit of tender love and care, you think ahead and make sure you are ready for what you want to happen, things will be more likely to be fulfilling and meaningful. There is not always a need to go full throttle and fill the house with rose petals, light two hundred candles and feed your partner with a couple of dozen different nibbles.
Sometimes an indoor picknick is enough to create the right mood, or some strategically placed cushions and blankets are enough to get your started the right way. Be inventive, think outside of the box, be different for a while, and things will go much better. Also, don’t go overboard too much…
And you are allowed to go back to “normal” tomorrow, if that is what you want.
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about.