However, whichever situation you find yourself in, and whatever action you are currently focusing on, it’s important to keep part of your mind open to communicating with the person you interact with. That means keeping an eye out for your partner’s reactions to what you are doing. But it also means that if you are experiencing a moment of being taken care of, you need to stay connected to your partner.
Some positions are more conducive to this happening: if you manage to see your partner’s eyes, you’ll be able to get a read quite a bit of what is going on with him, of course. Just reading each other’s expressions can be enough to guide your next actions. Besides that, using your body to push or pull at the right time can be a very powerful way to tell the other person what to do next! Don’t forget: you can give the right signals by moaning sounds, grunts and screams. If all fails, just tell them what to do! This exchange goes both ways, too. If you find yourself actively doing something to someone, it pays to keep an eye on their reactions and increase what makes them go all excited, while tuning down whatever feels like they are not enjoying quite as much as you do. As for being on the receiving end of things, it’s good to keep an eye on your partner to find out if he is getting something out of it as well. Either way, it’s good to work on several levels at once: if you are receiving sexual attention, there is nothing in the book saying you cannot return favours in other ways: touching his skin, tugging at a nipple, liking his hands, kissing him… anything goes. Ultimately, the point of sex – besides the relief it can bring – is to create closeness, and that includes doing all kinds of things. Sex is brilliant, of course, but there is more to it than just the mechanical stuff. All that said, there are times when you just want to relax and receive what your partner is dishing out, and that is perfectly fine too. Switch it up occasionally, is all I’m saying.
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About me
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
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