When we think of sensually connecting with a partner, this usually involves looking at each other, listening and touching. That makes sense and is pretty much in line with the senses we use in most interactions, but it leaves out two important ones: smell and taste! Those two senses are closely linked, and most of us would probably agree that they take the back seat over sight, hearing and touch. They appear so much less important, and yet taste and smell can be overwhelmingly powerful at times. My theory is simple: while the three big ones are focused on the ‘now’, taste and smell form a shortcut to Memory Lane. They also seem to be more temporary and reactive, while the big three feel more proactive. You can, of course, tune out sound, or you might daydream and not see anything in front of you, but that is more of an exception than the rule. When you think about it, you most likely have had moments where a smell conjured up strong memories of a place and time that means something to you. And then again, taste can be a huge player in the ‘now’: just imagine eating your favourite meal and you may just taste or smell that meal as if it were in front of you. Vision can override pretty much every other sense, especially the less prominent ones, so why not use a blindfold and open the pathways for other senses? When it comes to conscious sensuality, using smell and taste requires more preparation than other senses, but it is worth it. Making use of those two senses adds an exceptional, even unexpected, element to the time you spend together. Maybe you can set up a ritual that involves particular locations, like a blindfolded walk with olfactory highlights. Or you could add a specific smell/taste to particular parts of your interaction with your partner by using food items and spices. There is a good reason for all that incense in sacred spaces! Whatever you do, make sure you get consent, especially when it comes to feeding your partner something while he wears a blindfold. Be aware of intolerances! expand the playing field, make use of all the senses!
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These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
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