As discussed earlier, there are times when an interaction with a partner involves mutual stimulation of some kind, and there are times when it is advisable to either let go and enjoy what is given to you or revel in the knowledge that you are bringing joy to your partner without expecting anything in return. All those are good places to be in, but how do you decide when it’s time for either of them? Of course there is something to be said for following your flow and going with what comes, but all too often we get engrossed with what is happening at that time and never consider to change things up a little. Indeed, there are break points when it feels natural to shift from a reciprocal mode to a unidirectional one, but the tricky bit is to keep yourself from feeling selfish about just receiving, or from getting carried away with giving without taking into account that your partner may be in the mood to have you just receive at the time. As usual, it’s all down to communicating what’s going on, ideally non-verbally but not limited to it. Teachers often place much interest in being quiet. And while it’s an important skill to communicate without words, sometimes a short exchange can be beneficial to adjust expectations and maybe set the stage for something too complex to indicate just with a wink and a touch. That said, don’t shy away from pushing your partner’s hand to the place where you want it (or away from where you don’t). He cannot read your mind and sometimes being direct can work wonders. When is the right time to give, or to receive, then? It can be anytime, as long as you find common ground with your partner: you may end up ‘just giving’ for a whole evening and find bliss in that action alone, or you could end up alternating ever so often, or let yourself enjoy being treated to an afternoon of pampering. if it works for you both, go for it
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
About me
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
|