Kinky options to keep your distance
I would also assume that under these circumstances the only real option is very careful doggy style sex. Not exactly my favourite: I like eye contact during sex… that leaves us wondering: how can we keep our distance? What comes to mind is the kinky side of sex!
There are a good number of kinks that may just work better than vanilla sex at this stage. Anything that involves full-body covers sounds like a good bet, like rubber body suits, medical play with full PPE or properly functioning gas masks. I can also imagine a kinky massage with the masseur in full gear, with mask, nice smooth gloves. While I agree that not all of these may be your taste in kink, don’t dismiss this as an option for those who are into this kind of play.
A great many people have kinks and some of them could just be helpful in this situation, so why not embrace them fully and explore how this could play out? There are some rules, though…
Whatever kinky option you try out, make sure it’s consensual, that you are doing your best to stay safe (and if that includes a face mask, make it part of the fantasy, by all means), and that you remain ready to change tack if things do not work out quite as you expect them to. All of you need to be comfortable with the arrangement and no shame can be extended at any cost towards someone who feels this turned out to be less enjoyable or acceptable than they initially thought. All of those are really standard provisos for any kind of kinky play, but it needs to be reiterated regularly, I believe.
That said, I want to make it clear that I’m in no way insinuating that you should try all of the above. My intention is to open your mind to possibilities you may not have considered yet, and to my own surprise, the thought of the kink scene came to mind. I’m certain there are other things around that you could think of, in which case please leave a message with me. Research in this matter is ongoing!
For some, this notion of a bubble meant that it’s okay to bubble up with one person right now, and another one in three hours’ time. For others it was within the rules to meet five friends at someone’s home today, and five others the next day. Personally, I believe that the spirit of the suggestion was to form groups of up to six people, within which no social distancing was necessary, provided all members of the bubble were totally distancing from everyone else. So far, I didn’t have much luck convincing anyone of this interpretation, because that would mean sex only within that group and – let’s face it – gay guys will run out of steam in this small a group quickly… no judgment, just telling it as it is.
So, assuming people create closed support bubbles, and engage with those people only, how is that any different from a polyamorous network of relationships? I believe it could be seen as a seed for such an arrangement. At the start, it would probably serve as a pool of guys to engage with in a less restrictive manner than would be possible with the outside world. But I would assume that it will only take a short while before more serious attachment will develop, especially since the group is likely to contain a group of men who already know each other from before.
Of course, this is a rather forced version of polyamory. Normally, such arrangements develop over time, with clear discussions ahead of time, and a gradual development of new connections with outsiders, drawing them in, finding ways to move forward with a new node in the network of a polyamorous relationship network. A support bubble has rather more urgency to it than that. Not only is there a limited choice of partners that may be compatible on the sexual, intellectual, sensual, mental or physical level, but also there is no seed structure to start with: everything will develop pretty much in one go and things might get bumpy while trying to figure out what’s what.
Polyamory requires a lot of communication, and I could just imagine that it will not time at all for misunderstandings to appear within that support bubble. In a traditional polyamory situation, the initial partners will have set certain boundaries before moving towards outsiders, and then gradually those will be incorporated, often with great care and lots of touch and go situations. It’s hard work to make it through that phase at the best of times.
A support bubble could go down that road, but honestly, I’m not sure that setup is a good enough breeding ground for a polyamorous network of lovers. Prove me wrong if you dare!
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about.