Being active is not limited to just touching. Being the active partner can have a lot of different connotations, including penetration, but there is a wide gap between gently stroking someone’s earlobes and full anal penetration, of course, and these couple of blogs are meant to explore that space. Even though external anal massage can be bliss on its own, maybe you want to explore a little further and go in with a finger – and I recommend doing this with ONE finger only. There will be time to insert more than that later, believe me. Let’s assume that you have already spent some time on massaging the outside of your partner’s anus, and you have done things right, you’ll have realised that he has relaxed quite a bit and the area is likely covered with a lube at this point as well. Perfect conditions to expand the field of massage and gradually move your finger into the opening itself. Just as before, put pressure on the sides, slide your finger towards the centre and push just a little. We are talking half a centimetre here, not half a finger! At this point your partner may clench a little, just make sure he relaxes into the new kind of movement and be prepared to abort the mission if he shows signs of discomfort or calls it off! It’s all about him, remember? If all goes well, however, you’ll gradually be able to slide that finger in a little further each time. When it comes to internal anal massage, there are a couple of things you need to know: the skin in there is very tender, has a lot of nerve endings and blood vessels. Moving too fast, scratching the surface or not using enough lube can easily lead to damage, especially if you twist your finger around. If you want to change direction of your finger, always pull out and slide in again into that new position, NEVER twist. Apart from that, keep doing what you did with external anal massage: gentle strokes, exploring slowly and repeat what you do more than you think is necessary. The secret of a good massage lies in the repetition first of all, variation being slightly less important. You want your partner to experience particular sensations to the fullest before moving on, right? The fact of the matter is this: the giver may feel bored of a particular position or movement much quicker than the receiver, especially because the giver may be doing what feels like hard work. Remember that you are ‘giving’ something for the benefit of your partner. Stay with the program, keep giving
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September 2021
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