Whatever tantra practice you follow in terms of conscious sensuality, you will most likely be focusing on single practice for much of the time, and when you meet a partner to experience this with, your connection is based on the sum of both of your experiences. All of this is good, of course, but which elements are involved here? And are there any missing? When you are on your own, your practice will likely focus on a level of introspection, self-care, meditation and getting to grips with certain practical aspects of sensuality. When you are with a partner, you’ll be focused on bringing what you’ve learned to your partner and – hopefully – be on the receiving end for your partner’s endeavours. This brings with it an element of interaction between two individuals, switching between giving and receiving, and a need for communication on all available levels. Communication is usually a two-way street, but it doesn’t have to be. If you think of empathy as a way to ‘read’ what the other person feels, compassion works the other way around: it opens your mind to the idea of giving without a particular recipient. Compassion is the act of giving in general, of meaning well without actively interacting with someone in particular. The act of being compassionate is a practice in itself that is firmly entrenched in Buddhist beliefs, but not limited to it. Giving money to charities, considering the pain a distant friend goes through, even doing your bit for saving the planet … all those are acts of compassion. How is this relevant for tantra? It’s a mindset that is different from the rat race most of us find ourselves in on a regular day, and being mindful of the suffering of others, and giving that little bit of love to them can be part of your practice as much as the physical actions it involves. make compassion the starting point and everything else will follow automatically
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September 2021
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