Yes, ‘maybe’! Orgasm and ejaculation may often happen at the same time, but they are two different aspects that are often seen as one thing, especially by men. I get a sense that women often have a different story to tell in this respect.
What is this about? Ejaculation is a purely physical aspect of reaching a climax: specific muscles are doing their thing and ejaculation happens. Indeed, this is pretty much out of your control, although there are techniques to stem the tide if you apply them just in time. That would then fall under the category of edging. But that is the subject of another blog…
Coming back to the ‘orgasm’ element of the climax. Even though your body may show signs of orgasm by making involuntary movements (those can be greatly enhanced by going with the waves and making them into a more active experience), the real magic happens inside your mind. When you experience orgasm, your mind may go completely blank, or you might gain sudden insights into the sheer ecstasy of what is happening.
Ask yourself this: “what am I thinking during an orgasm?”
Really think about it and consider your recollections. You may find that you think of nothing in the conventional sense, but you experience sensations, emotions, maybe a sense of total abandon, or you feel floaty, or is there relief of sorts?
This short moment is the actual ‘orgasm’, a brief time when everything stands still, where nothing matters, where the mind shuts down and lets the body do the thinking. Submit to the this experience of non-thinking and expand it, if you can. Take a moment to bask in the glory of the feelings you experience. Those will start to mingle with the sheer automatic responses of your body again soon enough, and your brain will come back and claim its place in proceedings, too.
This short time of orgasm can be a time of excitement, too. The nature of excitement is that you want it to last, and end at the same time. Just like a kid excited to get a present, the joy of opening the present also takes away the excitement. The same applies to orgasm: you keep working towards it, but achieving it makes the excitement go away all too quickly.
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about.