When we were growing up, we were under the impression that relationships last forever. It doesn’t matter if you had a full set of heterosexual parents, a single parent of either sex, or a non-traditional couple as your parental role models: you probably lived in the happy glow that everything would stay like this forever. It’s a good thing that in many cases that is true, but many of us will – at some point or other – wake up in a state of disappointment. Either our happy couple of parents had split up, you became aware they only stayed together for your sake or their relationship has undergone some other kind of shift. Either way, things have changed. Much of this is rooted in the expectation of monogamy as soon as a couple has been formed, and for most of us it’s the model we try to achieve. This is very much based on practical reasons dating back to the dawn of mankind: couples survived better than singletons and family groups offered even more support. With all the choices available today, monogamy has been eroded left and right, and alternative ways of forming partnerships have become more common, albeit still somewhat exceptional. Yet we all are still under the thrall of monogamy as it is made out to be the only stable option. If you believe that stable means ‘immutable’ that may sound just right, but stable can also mean ‘consensual’! That seems to me the more realistic interpretation: it allows for a change the nature of the association of the partners – after discussion and with proper consent. This simple change in perception could open a lot of avenues and make so many lives happier and more fulfilled than the old monogamous approach ever did. Monogamy works for the happy few, of course, but it can stand in the way of personal development, trapping the couple in a stagnant pool of pent up emotions. Although there is nothing wrong with multiple partners, I am most certainly not promoting promiscuity over monogamy. Monogamy is simply an impossible standard to uphold. It takes constant maintenance and one wrong step can lead to utter failure. open up to variations on the theme of partnership and moderated monogamy
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
About me
These are my own thoughts on aspects of my work I feel strongly about. Archives
September 2021
|